A Duck, a Beach, and a Toast to Steve: Finding Laughter in Grief

Hello all, 

I want to start with a heartfelt thank you for all of the warmth, generosity, and space you have given us… in particular, Anita, since Steve died last month. It's been so helpful and has brought a lot of tearful smiles. Your cards, phone calls, emails, flowers, and hugs are still helping, just so you know.

Grieving is weird. It’s so, so hard, and it can simultaneously be beautiful and sometimes really funny. Steve was one of the people we laughed the hardest with. He had a very irreverent sense of humor that I miss every single day. Stick with me here; it will lighten up, I promise! But I do have an “after Steve died, something funny happened” story that cracked us and Anita up.

So, we happened to be on vacation when he died. We were on our way to Edgartown on Martha’s Vineyard, just a gorgeous place. We decided to grab some adult beverages and find a quiet place on the beach (which isn’t terribly hard in September), take in the sun, and toast to Steve. 

We were sitting there for just a short while when a talkative duck… not a seagull, of which there were several… but a lone female duck… flew straight at us and then landed at our feet. Like, right at our feet, and she had a lot on her mind! She looked right at us and was quacking up a storm. She walked around for quite a while (you know, for a duck). 

I started to video her because it was just so funny/weird, and then Jeff said what I was thinking, “Maybe this is Steve?” 😂

If it was Steve, I'm sure he was letting us know how pissed he was that he came back as a duck, of all things, and that we were sitting on the beach without snacks! Who does that?! Maybe you had to be there, but we thought it was funny and loved telling Anita the story, who got a kick out of it even in the depths of her grieving. You gotta laugh, people!

This quick little note to you all is to let you know that we are all doing okay. We are all moving forward. We still cry when thinking or talking about him, but we laugh too, and we are eternally thankful for all of you amazingly wonderful humans—and for all of the others not subjected to my monthly ramblings.

I hope you look for or are surprised by joy and humor in the little things. And if you’re on the beach, be sure to bring a snack for Steve. 😜

‘Til next time,
Arlene